Apparently, I have a knack for dealing with corporations. Long story short: In a business related move, I canceled Sprint after getting 6 AT&T phones. My Sprint deal is pretty sweet in relation to current market conditions for multi-line accounts. My brother is continuing the tradition started by me at UF through living off only his cell phone. The beyotch at AT&T assured me that his phone would work in Tallahassee. She’s either ignorant or a liar. I suspect ignorance.

Why don’t people just say they don’t know? Her ignorance made me look like a jackass with begging Sprint to return everything back to normal after a week from canceling. It also cost me $35. Whatever. I got my numbers back and everything is status quo. One thing that has changed though: AT&T is now in my crosshairs. I’m going to figure out every possible way to lose their business without paying the termination fee. I won’t actively seek trouble but I will keep score and move decisively when they screw up.

Note: the AT&T deal sucks because the best man for the job (me) wasn’t involved in making it.

Anyway, if you can get your numbers back after canceling a plan that offers 50% more minutes (2000) at the same price of a new plan ($80 for 1000), go ahead and try. You’ll need my charisma and my wit. Neither are available for loan but they’re both available for hire. The Sprint rep seemed thrilled that they could exact justice on the corporate policy manipulating weasel, yours truly. Unfortunately, her endurance and stamina just couldn’t compete. An hour straight of the ol’ one-two of reason and humor got a 98%. I might have been able to lose the $35 reactivation fee but that would go against my other religion–Sun Tzu’s Art of War.

Buddha and Sun Tzu. Light and dark. Good and evil. Yin and yang. Anyway…

Enlightenment is where I aspire to be at all times but the cluebat is always ready for action when necessary. Isn’t that what Franklin Delano Roosevelt said? “Speak softly and carry a big cluebat.” Woe to the kid that cites this journal entry in his paper about The Greatest Crippled President… Ever!


Going to more serious matters, a friend of mine wrote today from out of the blue. That’s usually how it works with these kind of situations. I’ll be running at near 100% efficiency and some woman from the past will chime in and wreck my rhythm. Well, that didn’t happen this time and I doubt it will happen ever again so I can take the “random ghost” off my list of concerns. Fully credit meditation, exercise and vigilance with the Middle Path for not getting fazed.

This random note gets its randomness from me. Somehow, her address got on an internal Cyberista message between me and Cappellini. I think that particular message went out at 2 a.m. or something so fatigue probably played a role. Regardless, she’s cool. I was glad to get a note. If it was some kind of cosmic test, it was too damn easy. It should be noted that I’m not looking for tests of faith.

The fact that this woman keeps in touch with me is nothing short of remarkable. Why is really none of your business. I just tend to keep score and I’m not on the winning side of this particular card.

Moving on… her upbeat note had one disappointing part. She then asked about Buddhism. I’ve always been suspicions of questions like this but I answer them anyway. Tell me about your Buddhist experiences, she wrote.

For just about everybody else, they would get a “go check cyberista” response but that’s not a valid one here. The last time I used the go-check-the-website tactic, it sounded like my cat singing, “you always say ‘go check the site’ like I do that all the time. Just tell me about it.” Uh-huh. Not going to catch that response again.

Buddhist experiences… basically, what is Buddhism?

It’s something I haven’t directly answered here yet and for good reason. People learn from example and stories. Very few can just pick up a book and figure something out. As mentioned above, a URL was out of the question here. So what is Buddhism?

The mind and the moment. That was my first response and I surprised myself with how concise and accurate it is. I’ve been wrestling with the question for awhile. People don’t want to hear a long drawn-out explanation of anything until they’ve decided that they like the summary. The opening line has to be perfect or people will roll their eyes and find something else to do. That’s the law with entertainment. There’s no use pointing out that it’s a massive human failing, it just is.

The opening comment made everything fit together in a short, clear summary with the caveat that it was a simplistic answer but good enough to get the right idea. Hopefully, it gets a good reaction because I’m thinking “book deal.” ;)

Seriously, the opening settled a long standing problem in my mind about how to discuss Buddhism in my columns on Cyberista rather than just restricting them to my blog. So… if you want to know more, go check my website.

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