With over 20% unemployment, an expensive pension system, and a pretarded government selling itself to the highest bidder, one might suspect that France has bigger problems than deciding what words people can and cannot use. Unfortunately, that would be wrong. French officials consider “linguistic purity” to be among their highest goals.

To that end, the Ministry of Culture announced a ban on the use of the word “email” in all government ministries, documents, publications or websites. Email is a foreign term and threatens to pollute their immaculate language. The replacement word is “couriel.”

Use it or die.

Like all government officials around the world and perhaps the entire universe, French government officials are stricken with cranio-rectal inversion. The impact of the disease threatens anyone who is unlucky enough to live under any kind of government populated with “government officials.”

France, however, has a special breed of government officials who play Monsignor Quixote for the greater glory of the revolution or whatever their reasoning for banning “email” might be. Officially, it has a ring of sinister Americanism that must be stopped at all cost by using a cheap French imitation.

French paranoia about the French language is a perpetual joke machine. Banning “email” is banning one of the few truly international words. Considering that email came from scientific endeavors, it’s hard to understand why France would alienate themselves from the rest of the world like this.

France is a modern state in spite of being French. The only reason that France was “relevant” after WWII is because they were still alive. Whores live longer than patriots. Heavy industry in France is a farce. The only reason that Airbus poses a serious challenge to Boeing is because Airbus is an alliance of European aircraft manufacturers instead of being strictly French. They have rapid public transit but once you get somewhere, you can expect to move at a speed of approximately 5 meters per hour. France was charged with printing the Euro and stamping the coins because they’re special and nobody wants to hear them whine.

The bottom line: France sucks. They need to straighten out much bigger problems than the linguistic purity of the word “email.” Such myopic tactics will certainly send their country even further into irrelevancy than it already is.

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