The total sports network decided to add a new category of bloodsport this evening when they reported the news of the deaths of Uday and Qusay Hussein after a six hour gunfight in the streets of Baghdad.

Uday controlled propaganda in Iraq but his skills will never compare to the media shitstorms Americans swallow on a daily basis. Don’t even attempt to ignore the news by visiting sports sites or trying to shut out completely by living vicariously on The Price is Right. The government wants you to know that the war in Iraq is a just war and you will like it.

So forget about what we “know” about Lakers point guard Kobe Bryant, let’s talk about Uday Hussein.

Uday earned his stripes by becoming the chairman of the National Iraqi Olympic Committee. Upon taking the responsibility to bring multi-million dollar sporting events to his country, Uday concluded that the best way to motivate athletes involved throwing athletes off bridges and dropping them into raw sewage for losing.

As a card carrying psychopath, he believed only fear and widespread infanticide combined with a dash of occasional beatings would bring home the gold.

Beyond that, Uday liked Internet porn and would rate various “prostitutes” that pleased his eyes. With fast cars, hard liquor and easy whores, Uday was destined to be one of the most brutal leaders of our age.

His brother, Qusay, was “slightly less murderous” but possibly more dangerous to regional stability.

We are better off with these two psychopaths in bodybags. The forces of terror are on the run.

How do we know this? The all holy media told us.

We couldn’t make this stuff up with a straight face. All this nonsense came out of actual reports. All the reports sound as if they were written by either an Islamic or a Christian fundamentalist.

Is there a difference?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


seven × = 28

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>