An adult woman that has sex with a physically mature and consenting male minor has not committed a crime. Such a woman might be an unethical person, an adulterer and completely insane but such a woman is a waste of time for the criminal court.

Or so you’d think.

In Tampa, the land of vampires, baby killers and misanthropic sinkholes, reading teacher Debra LaFave was arrested and charged with four counts of lewd and lascivious battery against a minor and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition. She stands accused of having oral sex and intercourse with a 14 year old male.

We know the position of the victim. According to a police affidavit, this young man declared, “It was awesome.” No doubt he is completely ticked off that his poon is sitting in a Hillsborough County jail.

Debra LaFave is hot. Damn hot. Caliente hot. She’s a 23 year old blonde with ice blue eyes and a body built to shoot down insecure men everywhere. Name a guy who wouldn’t go along with whatever she wanted. At 14, I’d think the heavens opened up and declared me the Chosen One if a teacher like this wanted me. Every guy I’ve discussed the issue with feels the same way. Where is the crime here?

When a man has sex with a physically mature and consenting female minor, that’s a MAJOR problem for the simple concept of pregnancy and its consequences Somebody is going to pay for a child having a baby and society reserves the right to punish the idiot that might lay the cost of the baby on society. That’s it. There’s nothing more to the issue. If you think there’s more to the issue then you have abandoned your intellect and, if I were in charge, your right to breathe.

When a woman has sex with a physically mature and consenting male minor, that’s a recipe for MAJOR fun. This dude received every ounce of confidence that he would need for the rest of his life because of the scandalous Mrs. LaFave. She should lose her job as a teacher for her profound lack of ethics. She should lose her husband with no possibility of alimony or other support. She should be checked into a psychiatric center as at least an out-patient because she probably has some serious mental issues. But no jail time. LaFave does not deserve to be treated as a criminal. Unfortunately, our laws are built around knee-jerk politics. LaFave is now a political prisoner.

The “victim”, for his part, is a complete idiot. He couldn’t be happy with his dirty little secret. He had sex in the classroom and her apartment. Who knows where else? He had to tell his cousin. His cousin received the opportunity to watch them fuck in the back of her SUV. His cousin talks. His mom finds out. Poon lands in jail.

It’s sad.

The moral of the story, gentlemen, is to shut the hell up and keep your friends away from your woman.

Experts in the field of studying sexual offenders have some interesting stats. Less than six percent of sexual offenders are female. That’s probably because it’s nearly impossible for a woman to sexually offend a male and completely outside the realm of possibility to sexually offend someone who consents to engaging in sex.

Similar teacher scandals in the past were with essentially fugly women and migrant workers. Adding to the disappointment was 8 years of Clinton dragging his imperial power through trailer parks. So heart-breaking that he left everybody mumbling, “what the hell is the matter with him?”

Our victim, however, may have single-handedly saved the fabric of our culture. As far as sex scandals go, America finally has a winner. Her only crime is that she did not have sex with all the young men in her class. That’s just not fair but it’s not enough to keep her from winning our first and possibly only Teacher of the Year Award at Cyberista.

Amnesty International will be informed that the Cyberista Teacher of the Year is being held as a political prisoner in a Hillsborough County jail. Expect an update on that letter. The issue of LaFave going on trial is so appalling that my position boils down to this:

Free LaFave.

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