It’s that time of year again. It’s the reason and the season to remind friends, family and lovers to restrain themselves from playing with raccoons and other assorted foam drooling beasts.

It’s Rabies Awareness Week.

Health officials in Northern Virginia have launched a campaign to educate all the suburban sprawlers that can’t figure out why all pleasant animals kill them in ways that the Forces of Evil ™ can only dream about.

“Even though they look very cute, stray animals should not be played with,” says Lucy Caldwell, Public Information Officer for the Virginia Department of Health in Northern Virginia.

Nonsense.

Cyberista is a rabid monster when it comes to defending the rights of idiots to put themselves in mortal danger. Playing with stray animals is a perfectly valid population control mechanism. It should not be encouraged but, undoubtedly, should not be discouraged either.

Rabies, like all other “highly contagious and deadly” diseases, is a myth. Go ahead and pick up a wild animal that you are lucky enough to get your hands on. And don’t worry about being bitten or scratched. That’s a myth as well. Just read your Bible. By virtue of being human, all animals will bow before you. This whole propaganda bit about getting injured and dying a horrible death is designed to keep you in your place.

Don’t believe the hype. Become one with nature today, especially if nature is now your trendy gated community.

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