Television news reporters have nothing to say. They do a pretty good job at reading the prompter but they really should spare us all when a disaster like Hurricane Frances is near.

As of this this post, hurricane feeder bands have started to come on Florida. For the uninitiated, feeder bands are the outermost part of a hurricane. They contain thunderstorms and *might* produce tornadoes. They come and go as the storm swirls. Any more detail and I'll have to change my name to Obvious Guy. Suffice it to say, every afternoon, Florida has thunderstorms that *might* produce tornadoes. We've had some particularly nasty thunderstorms this summer. Early feeder bands deserve a collective "blah" at best.

Can we get such a rational response from our local media? Hell no. Instead, we get bloody fear-mongering.

Hurricanes have the power of SEVERAL NUCLEAR BOMBS.

So what? Exactly what does this mean for a storm that covers over 200,000 square miles? A typical nuclear bomb has a 7000 square mile disaster area. Several of them? How many? Let's try four. That's only 28,000 square miles. How about 8? That's still only 56,000 square miles. Japan was hit by just two bombs but the media needs TWO DOZEN nuclear bombs before we can compare them to this hurricane.

"Let's go LIVE to the feeder band in Ft. Pierce!"

This was just a sad, sad segment. Fat chicks wandering around to get a last look at the weather. They are nervous but they *know* their homes will be destroyed. Yay for fatalism!

The reporter then realized there was serious competition for the title of "Top Idiot" and ended the impromptu interview with "OK! Have a… uh… safe day."

He proceeded to reassert his dominance in the idiot category by waxing hyperbole about how "windy" it is. To demonstrate the wind speed, he pulled out his digital wind vane.

The speed? 8mph. Half the speed of "typical no hurricane day" of the last few days. The excuse? "It feels like more. It must not be working right."

Of course. When *you* are a moron, just blame your stupid keychain.

It didn't stop. The anchor assured everyone that _her_ family safely evacuated. That's just fsckng wonderful. [/me clicks remote]

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