In a stunning display of truth that sent the entire New Jersey executive branch into a game of “cover your ass”, New Jersey Democratic Governor James McGreevey announced his resignation over an affair with another man, reportedly Colonel Tubesteak of the Israeli Defense Forces.
McGreevey has a wife and two children. No doubt, they are incredibly embarrassed by the revelation. The office suspected something was amiss with the governor when he started making random comments about “but[t] piracy” followed by “is something we cannot tolerate” during a recent briefing on the computer software industry according to an anonymous source.
McGreevey stated that he has always struggled with his identity. Struggle no more, Governor. According to our Redneck Oracle, JT, being gay is like fscking fat chicks—it’s a preference. If McGreevey attempts to say he was born gay, Cyberista will advocate to cure him. If it’s just a preference, let him rock on at diaper parties in Hoboken for the rest of his days.
The only thing McGreevey ever struggled with is intellectual honesty. He opposed gay marriage and, no matter how much you oppose homosexuality, it’s hard to tell people they can’t love each other. However, if you tell Americans the truth, they will oppose gay marriage.
Here’s the truth: Playing with rope isn’t the problem. Screwing with the actuary tables is the problem. It means the system goes bankrupt. If you can marry a member of the same sex and demand the benefits of marriage, the system will collapse. The only way gay marriage works is if marriage is meaningless and causes no burden to society. If marriage is meaningless, you might as well marry your TV and fight for the rights of tortilla chips to marry nacho cheese.
Let pandemonium commence.
Calling McGreevey a hypocritical lying politician would be redundant. He lied to his wife, he lied to his clones, he lied to himself, he lied to the citizens of New Jersey and he probably lied to his dog. He knows it, we know it and Bob Dole knows it. As far as Cyberista is concerned, it’s one less scoundrel in power.
