MPAA prepares for War on Consumers(TM)

The five-a-day rag USA Today interviewed Dan Glickman, the new frontman for the Motion Picture Association of America(MPAA). Glickman replaces Jack “Mr. Koro” Valenti, the erstwhile technologically-challenged uber-troll that tried to destroy VCRs in the 1984 Betamax case. Valenti's final days as MPAA chairman were marked by an irrational fear of people stealing, among other things, his movies. Glickman continues the trend by announcing that the MPAA will follow the Record Industry tactic of suing file traders. The record industry waited until they actually lost money before suing people because, as strange as it sounds, damage claims require evidence. The movie industry is making money like never before. Still, the witches must be hunted down and the koro must be cured.