Japanese toy maker Takara unveiled a gadget on Thursday called Bowlingual. The unit, which fits to a dog collar, claims to translate a dog’s barks into expressions such as “I’ve had enough” or “I’m a little bored, let’s play.”
Takara says that the device detects feelings such as happiness, frustration and sadness.
Sure, dude. Whatever.
We would have to say that at face value, this is one of the goofier inventions that we have ever heard of, in line with the “Pet Rock”, “Jump to Conclusions Mat” and the “Male European Carry-All Purse”.
Does anyone really need a device to tell them what a dog is saying? As if someone can’t understand when a dog is trying to say: “I’m hungry”, “Let me outside, I have to piss!”, “Rub my belly” and “Please do not stare at me while I lick my crotch for the next 30 minutes”?
On the other hand, we also find this invention to be gravely disturbing. What if dogs are really super-intelligent beings that until now have only been hampered from their ultimate domination of the Earth by a linguistic barrier? Will this device facilitate their evil plans for the subjugation of man? Man’s best friend indeed! What will happen to the master/pet relationship?
It’ll be anarchy!
[Run to hide in closet with .44 Magnum revolver, bottle of Jack Daniels and latest issue of the Art Bell "After Dark/Area 51" newsletter.]
