Smoking is cool. There’s nothing like having a fire two inches from your mouth. Chicks dig it and, quite frankly, the buzz is more enjoyable than alcohol. Beyond the obviously hip habit of smoking, living long is overrated.
Live fast, die young.
This week, the UN Framework Convention on Tobacco Control finalized what has become the world’s first treaty on health. More than 170 nations approved of the treaty which includes advertising bans and pledges to increase taxes on tobacco products.
The convention claims that smoking kills five million people worldwide. They described advertising, sponsorship, sales to minors and smuggling as a “devastating consequence” of tobacco.
We claim that people who subject themselves to the findings of UN committees lose approximately five million brain cells per report viewed. We believe that all the cheese, wine and other food products that keep convention participants alive produce a devastating consequence of uninhibitedly useless treaties, agreements and projects such as Internet sheep delivery.
Towing the line of UN pomposity, the treaty states, “The spread of the tobacco epidemic is a global problem with serious consequences for public health…”
Tobacco is not an “epidemic.” Tobacco is a plant of the genus Nicotiana. Tobacco leaves can be dried and processed for the production of cigarettes, snuff or pretending that you are Sherlock Holmes.
Nobody ever held a gun to anybody’s head saying, “smoke or die.” People smoke because they made that choice. Smoking is a ritual as old as humanity’s taming of fire. Aside from those statements, five million tobacco-related deaths per year just isn’t enough.
If the UN had its priorities straight, it would look the other way on tobacco, sex and other “choice-related” death. Over the next 20 to 30 years, the population on this planet will explode to 11 billion people.
The food to feed the world will be there. The distribution channels will not.
With that in mind, a good place to throw all the seemingly boundless energy of UN committees would be in developing food distribution channels to accommodate the people that will surely starve to death. If they can’t solve the food distribution problem then they should leave smokers, drug addicts and sexual rabbits alone.
Let them die by choice. Starvation is not a choice-related death. Starvation is not a good thing.
The sooner that the UN gets out of the morality legislation business, the sooner that they can focus on the truly monstrous calamities that will face poor nations in the future.
