Service on a federal grand jury has been a problem of mine for about a month. Between the wheelchair and an injured shoulder, jury duty just wasn't going to happen. Of course, I didn't make things easy on myself by screwing up the medical excuse process. I secured my doctor's pledge to write it up but I never followed through. My father predicted that federal marshals would come to get me for my carelessness. I personally suspect that federal marshals have more important things to learn than how to fold my wheelchair.
I solved the situation in a manner worthy of Old Glory. I forgot about it. When I remembered, I passively ignored it. Through the power of not caring, the matter resolved itself. I received a letter from the Southern District of Florida saying that my jury duty was canceled until further notice. Sure, there will be jury duty one day but… that day is not today.
Euphoria enveloped me as I could return my focus to more important projects like the civilization-ending asteroid, 2004MN4, due on Friday April 13, 2029.
NASA has been observing this rock for six months. In that time, the odds went from typically astronomical to a scary 1 in 37 chance of collision. As the odds narrowed, the traffic to the NASA site exploded. Government and society would immediately fray once everyone absorbed the thought that the odds of getting killed by the asteroid impact or the subsequent fallout in 24 years are more likely than _any_ random injury you might get at any given time. That includes hang nails, bumped elbows, a poke in the eye, etc.
I was looking forward to the chaos. I wanted to invest in Kool Aid. I wanted to start my cult. I wanted to spread my seed with impunity and confiscate the worldly belongings of my worshipers. I felt super-charged and ready to go primetime in End Time.
And NASA took it all away.
Feeling the heat from the internet chatter, NASA turned 191 days of observation data into nonsense. They suddenly posted the odds of impact at 1 in 56000. That's not being sly about it. That's an authoritarian STFU proclamation for the general public. They went on to say that the asteroid would actually strike in 2037. Maybe 2044. For six months, they acted like dispassionate scientists and then they turn intoi idiots at the first sign of public interest? NASA just created another conspiracy theory for the masses and this one has hard evidence to back it up.
NASA wants to ignore the problem in hopes that it just goes away like my jury duty. Civic obligations don't create 20 mile walls of water moving at Mach 1. Maybe there's a deep political calculation here that the impact zone will kill primarily Africans and Indians so it doesn't really matter. Maybe it's ok if Americans and Europeans die off as well. We're almost out of oil to sustain the economy so playing dumb to thin the herd works out well for the system.
Whatever the reason, don't get too happy because 1 in 56000 is still better than winning the lottery.
